The Liberal Heretic's: The Top 20 Most Offensive Liberal Women

Since top 20 lists seem to be quite the cause du jour, the Heretics decided to do one of their very own- The Most Offensive Liberal Women. We had a distinguished panel of judges that included- US, and it wasn't that difficult because these women so wonderfully embody everything that is ICK about liberalism. So without further ado, here they are:

1. Nancy Pelosi

 Everyone's favorite Liar of the House. I'm not sure where to even begin. Perhaps her wonderful statement that illegals are the only true Americans, or maybe her lies of having no advanced knowledge of the U.S.'s enhanced interrogation techniques. No, I have it! Of course it has to be this one, “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy." Talk about your A-1 DOHHH moments. Btw Nancy, please lay off the botulism err botox, I heard it kills brain cells, and believe me you need all three. -Kerrie

2. Michelle Obama

Something tells me this first <cough> lady, wears the pants in the Obama family. Before she planted her behind in the White House, she had this gem to say on the campaign trail: "For the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback." Is that so Mrs. Obama? So then winning two world wars, defeating communism, ending segregation, and landing on the moon were just expelling gas in the wind then? Guess that’s why you sat in a church whose pastor said “God damn America” for twenty years, eh? Please let us know when you think the country has been sufficiently destroyed enough for you to be proud.  -Sharon

3. Jeanine Garafolo

 While Janeane's rabid two fans flock to her movies or stand up show, we're subjected to not only her ignorance, but her blatant bitterness as well. Don't blame me for eviscerating her, however, in her own words, "I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth." But this isn't why the wonderful Miss Janeane made this list, it's for this resplendent proclamation, "Let's be very honest about what this is about. This is not about bashing Democrats. It's not about taxes. They have no idea what the Boston Tea Party was about. They don't know their history at all. It's about hating a black man in the White House. That is racism straight up. This is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks." -Kerrie

4.  Rosie O'Donnell

 During the April 19, 1999, broadcast of her talk show, she stated, "You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun, I think you should go to prison."..."655,000 Iraqi civilians dead. Who are the terrorists?"..."And just one second, radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America."...I know I needn't even bother to say another word. -Kerrie

5. Helen Thomas

 Thomas, a once respected author and member of the White House Press Corp, has recently gone on an anti-jewish tirade or two. Like this gem: When Rabbi David Nesenoff asked if Thomas had any comments on the state of Israel. Thomas replied, "Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine. Remember, these people are occupied, and it's their land; it's not German, it's not Poland's." When asked where Jews should go, she replied: "they should go home" to "Poland, Germany, America and everywhere else." It wasn't the first time this Lebanese Trilpoli Rose went off her rocker. "The United States is not that helpless. It could have stopped the bombardment of Lebanon. We have that much control with the Israelis... we have gone for collective punishment against all of Lebanon and Palestine." To all our relief, the old bat finally retired, at the age of 89. -Kerrie

6. Sonia Sotomayor

Newly appointed Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, or otherwise known as the ‘wise Latina woman’, had this to say about her oppressive white contemporaries, "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” I’m sorry Ms Sotomayor, but wasn’t Martin Luther King who said to judge a man not by the color of his skin, but on the content of his character? The lovely Soto also earned her racist Hispanic judicial activist credentials when she ruled against the New Haven firefighters in 2003, when they sued over reverse discrimination in the workplace. We all must remember though, liberalism dictates that racism is OK when white people are on the receiving end. Don’t think that’s fair? Too bad buddy, one of the justices sitting on the highest court in the land does. Oh and by the way her circuit court rulings have been overturned by the High Court a whopping 60% of the time. How’s that for a wise Latina woman?  -Sharon

 7. Sandra Bernhard

14. Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin, where do I begin? Well this is a woman who became famous for not being talented or attractive enough to be famous, hence her life and subsequent self-effacing show, Life on the D List. Not only is she crass and just not funny, she has made a sport of making fun of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. In a recent stunt, she first courted Levi Johnston in Alaska (you know the meat-filled skull who ditched his baby to pursue showing off his naked gooball body), and in the same show brought him on stage and  proceeded to infer Palin performed sex acts on John McCain. Tell me Kathy you’re still on the D list, has it ever worked for you? No need to project darling. -Sharon

15. Roseanne Barr

 Roseanne Borisofsky Barr Pentland Arnold Thomas: Only one name is needed for this pig: Trainwreck. Let's just take a peak at some of the ridiculous things that have poured out of this toilet's mouth like diarrhea. "I have no more tolerance for any religion in any way, they are all obsolete and harmful." "Marie Osmond's poor gay son killed himself because he had been told how wrong and how sick he was every day of his life by his church and the people in it. Calling that ‘depression' is a lie!" And to Jon Voight and Angelina Jolie, Voight "is a frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu, who acts like Obama just wandered in from the rain forest with a bone thru his nose and a communist pamphlet in his loincloth." But she couldn't stop there, "Do you not know that the African daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the Republican party's worldwide economic assault on Africa over the last few decades since Reagan?" Would someone stuff something in its mouth to finally shut it up? Please? -Kerrie

16. Joy Behar

Known as the harpiest (not a word, but it should be, if only to describe her) of The View harpies, Joy Behar has made a name for herself as being one of the most obnoxious liberal women on daytime television. When she is not busy saying she doesn’t give a “Flying f*ck about Glenn Beck”, she is hell-bent on tearing her adorable and very conservative co-host, Elizabeth Hasselback a new one (or at least tries to). Give it up Joy, Elizabeth has already told you she will not sell you her youthful blood to drink when the moon is full and the witching hour is upon you. -Sharon

17. Shelia Jackson Lee

This Texas Rep should be voted out immediately. She travelled to Venezuela in 2007 to worship at the shrine of Hugo Chavez, saying, "We've made a serious mistake in not engaging with President Chavez," the Democratic lawmaker said a few hours after returning from a three-day trip to Caracas. "I came to break the tension, to warm up a chilled relationship. Venezuela has many friends in this new Congress." Indeed. She also called on the Bush Administration to lift the ban on arms sales to that nutty dictator. It would open the door to Lockheed Martin to sell Chavez parts for their aging fleet of F-16's. But how odd, it seems one of her donors is GASP none other than Lockheed Martin. -Kerrie

18. Janet Napolitano

Do you remember those 7 years after September 11, 2001? Remember how we didn’t hear a peep out of anyone looking for Allah Akbar brownie points? Well it may have had something to do with not having this woman manning (perfect word btw) the Homeland Security front.  When a Swedish man on an Amersterdam-Detroit flight thwarted a would-be suicide panty-bomber, Napolitano was quoted as saying, “the system worked." Yet somehow he was able to smuggle explosive liquid onto the jet? When probed further about how the man got by security so easily Nappie had this to say, “We're asking the same questions." Can we just hurry up and hire the guy who bags my groceries to replace her? I mean really it would probably be a whole lot cheaper and I bet you he wouldn’t have a problem with calling terrorists, well, terrorists. -Sharon

19. Elena Kagan

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 As Obama's newest pick for the Supreme Court, despite the fact she has never actually sat on the bench, her record, or lack thereof is raising more than a few brows. But it's her tenure as dean of Harvard Law School, she kicked all military recruiters off campus. When the Solomon Amendment was passed in the 1990's, requiring all federally funded colleges to allow recruiters on campus, Kagan sent a mass email to students, decrying the don't ask, don't tell policy, calling it "a profound wrong- a moral injustive of the first order." Not happy with the results, using her private role as a professor, she filed a friend of the court brief with other professors challenging the Solomon Amendment. When federal appeals court struck it down, she immediately barred the military again. After the federal government told her Harvard would lose funding, amounting to more than $300 million a year, she backed down, and then reached out to the Student Veterans Association. Unfortunately for her, they didn't take the notion of helping her discriminate too kindly, and told her to take a hike. In 2006, the Supreme Court upheld the Bush Administration's interpretation of the Solomon Amendment, and Kagan was forced to allow the military onto campus. -Kerrie

20. Barbra Streisand

In 2002, Babs held a star-studded benefit concert for the endangered Democrats.  Streisand charged that Republican control of the House had caused the following: “Poison in the water, salmonella in the food, carbon dioxide in the air and toxic waste in the ground.” Oh Barbara where are you now when the environment needs you most? Perhaps a benefit concert for the gulf coast might be apropos, perhaps one of the songs can be “Crystal water color memories, of when we didn’t have an inept egomaniac running the country.” By the way, your music sucks. -Sharon

* Honorable Mention: Barney Frank

No list could be complete without this fantabulous lefty woman. Love ya, Barnie, and all the laughs you give us!